Wednesday, August 31, 2016

The Week's Peeks: Pocket Peeks


Post originally published by Jennifer X on Born Jennius, XX August 2016.

Okay, I know I was short on the peeks the last few weeks, I mean not taking as many pictures as usual, but this is very minimal. What did I even do all week? WP is worth it even if it's just one peek, right?

Also, I tried to think of a clever descriptive title but I am putting this up quickly and brain energy is depleted. I hope it makes a little sense? Like pocket-sized because so little bit peeks. 

Hm, I'd better stop here. I really should be sleeping right this moment okay bye.

Here are the Week's Peeks from the week of August 21st - enjoy!




Wanted to splash my eye lid with colors, so just a quick fun trial run :)




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Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The Week's Peeks


Post originally published by Jennifer X on Born Jennius, 24 August 2016.

Here are the Week's Peeks from the week of August 14th.


Yes, I have white sheets that are still white. I was trying to catch the chevron pattern. I love sleeping.




Leftovers from Soon's.




I watched this car convert from covered to uncovered.






Changes in a matter of minutes. Awesome.




Clouds are still rollin'!




Sweet Pea said I needed a bath. Hm. :/


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Monday, August 22, 2016

De-churched: DCC: I’m Not at My Post


Post originally published by Jennifer X on Born Jennius, 22 August 2016.

Jennius here. The following are a few things I was going through and wrote out back in early June, having to do with still being de-churched and the DCC (Dictator Conflict Chronicles). They continue to be on my mind, and so I thought it’s time I post this. Thank you for reading.



I saw a friend today. We got to catch up and talk a little. It was… it tends to be… bittersweet for me.

He asked me if I’ve been going to church, anywhere. I said no. This whole time (the last 3 or so years)? Yes.

He asked me why. Is it faith? Is it… people? He knows some about the difficulties I had with the DCC. He knows it was hard for me. I felt the tears trying to gather for an escape but I held them back. No, it’s not faith.

We talked a little about going to church, following God, being where we’re supposed to be (which only one of us has been and is doing).

The bittersweet-ness is knowing that he really cares about me, seeing him be obedient and growing, and yet I’m… where I am. I’m happy for him – sad for me.

It’s always refreshing to talk with him. I never feel like an outsider with him because he’s welcoming to everyone. I’m glad that he’s still there. In some way, I need him to be there.
____________________________

Earlier this year, my classmate messaged me, my first official crush way back when. He’s back at church and wanted to know if I was still going. Even in text, he still sounds like how I remember him – thoughtful, kind, and a whole lot of other goodness.

I’m glad he’s back and I hope he’s still going or has found a church community to join.

It gave me a jab though. It’s nothing to do with him; it’s me. The thing is that I wanted to remain with the church for people like him, to be there for those who visit or return and be a familiar and (hopefully) friendly face. I wanted to be there for those whom are coming in from “the cold” or “the outside,” because I’ve been there. I’ve been there too many times.

But I wasn’t there when my friend returned. I’m not there. I left my post.
____________________________

I think I explained the thing about David’s piece of King Saul’s robe wrong, or not well. My piece of robe would’ve been things like how I led the Women’s Small Group at that time, how much time and effort I put in to putting together the ministry things, how I had meetings with people, how I made my contact info available, how I sought out people, how I invited people to be a part of it all, how even before then I was asking questions about what certain people wanted/ needed/ were looking for (I asked about their care), how I spent time trying to get to know them, how I supported them in their endeavors, how I tried to keep them together when they were missing a few.

I didn’t do all that so I could rule someday. I didn’t know there would be something to pour into – as a leader. I didn’t seek out being a leader. Yes, I made mistakes, but making decisions, or doing things my way – not theirs – was not one of them.

What did I do to deserve such disrespect from them? What “consequences” did I put forth or uphold? What did I do that necessitated making it harder for anything ministry to happen? What did I do to deserve the rumors? Most of the rumors were not true at all, like how I would just show up and expect a ride home – completely untrue, never happened, I’d rather take the bus home. When did I have the “power” (influence)? It was the group vs. me. Even those “in the middle” were ultimately for the group.

(Except for A, T, and G; I hold them entirely innocent).

If I had been trying to lead them towards heresy, about leading them astray and away from God, that would be one thing. If I truly was all about me ruling, in it just for myself, that would be one thing. If I was in it to ruin them as a group or as individuals, that would be one thing. I’d like to see someone try to build a case for any of those possible accusations.

Such divisions within the church grieves God. It has come to grieve me also. It shouldn’t be an “us vs. them” situation. Disagree, sure. Division, no. Discussion, debates even, yes. Disrespect, no.

Love.  Yes.

34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”


Granted, we’re not dealing with just each other in the physical realm. I do believe in spiritual forces acting in the spiritual realm.

To be clear, I’m not laying all the blame of the lack of Love during the DCC on the others. We failed that commandment together I think. It grieves me to say that I was a part of that failure in any way. It was certainly not the way I had hoped things to go.
____________________________

Why am I still de-churched?

No good reason. I mean, when all is said and done, there is no good reason that I am not being obedient to God’s call for me to be with that particular church (probably not in a leadership role though, or I’m just… nevermind). My friend is an encouragement in this – it’s why he’s still there, because God’s called him to be there.

I mean, I’m not even where I’m not supposed to be, in terms of any church community at all. Most people at least do that much.

Granting that I have no good reason, what are the wrong reasons?

Ugh. I’m not ready to write that/ those post(s).




“The light shines in the darkness,
     And the darkness can never extinguish it.”


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Friday, August 19, 2016

Healthy Go: Target in Sight


Post originally published by Jennifer X on Born Jennius, 19 August 2016.

It has been a long time since I have seriously considered HG goals. I think they’re important for me to have, to remind me of what I want for my life and why.

I have so many things on my mind practically at all times that goals are easily forgotten. Yet, they are so important for keeping me going on this journey.

Here we go.
____________________________

Schedule and Workouts
Except for working out with the ESTP back in the second college early days, or seeing how much I could do with the crew in the first college days, or the introduction 5-day trainer workouts, I’ve never really nailed down an actual workout or schedule. I’ve always just done whatever, whenever.

I’m looking things up, following some fitness people, and writing out workouts to do. Being self-directed (in most things) tends to be the best way for me to do a thing. I’m taking action. I’m taking responsibility for whatever happens. It’s the best way for me to learn something new, to retain some information, through hands-on experience, figuring it out. I would like to try working out with a trainer, but I can’t swing that at the moment.

To start, I’m aiming for 3 days a week, whether gym or other. As it fits into the rest of my schedule, I’m going to try a Tuesday/ Thursday/ Saturday schedule and see how that goes. I’m still working out a few exercise routines to go on.

Tracking
Even though I didn’t have a workout schedule before, I still tracked what I did somewhere. I think one of the reasons why I feel better about restarting HG now is that I have been trying out the bullet journal and have an idea of how to use it to keep track of exercises. It should help me figure out a schedule and work on maintaining consistency in working out, whether at the gym or elsewhere.


In 2014, I did 242 flights of stairs over about 5 months.

I kind of have a slight aversion to stairs now, so, we'll work on that.


Strength
Some of my friends probably think that I’m strong for a female (and I wouldn’t take that as an insult, I am a female) simply because I don’t mind working out or doing some heavy lifting (whatever I am able to lift) when doing setup/ clean up/ moving type stuff. I’ll usually be with the guys doing the guy-typical things in those scenarios because I like being able to do stuff like carry tables/ AV equipment/ drywall/ etc., and I want to be able to do more.

But I’ve lost a lot of strength in the last few years. A. Lot. I feel it. I see it.

I’ve always wanted to get stronger but I guess I wasn’t sure I could do it, or how to go about it. And, there have been setbacks and injuries. Now, I just want to go for it. I think being able to track it more consistently is going to help me see the progress and to keep going in that direction.

At the moment, I’d like to get back to where I last remember being, which was the lateral pull down at 70# and the seated row at 50#, then build up from there. I don’t really remember what I used to do on legs, chest, and other things, but I’ll be working on getting stronger all around.

Long term goals would be: being able to do push-ups well again, to do a headstand (and then handstand), and to do a pull-up. Climbing a rope would be pretty cool also.


Back when I fit into a "dress" shorts.


Fit
I would like to be able to fit into my clothes comfortably!!! This has been an up and down thing, and I got myself on a good down-sizing trend for a bit, and then it all went. I let it all go. I’m the biggest I’ve been ever. My thighs have always touched, but now they’re starting to push each other out. I am not a cute waddle-r.

And it’s not exactly all about size or weight. I’m not comfortable in this body. If it were mostly muscle mass, I wouldn’t mind so much. I can’t do the things I used to do. I don’t look the way I used to look. I’m not that tall, and so every little inch or pound can make a big difference in how I look, feel, and act. I’d like to be able to wear certain things, like my clothes.

Don’t tell me to just buy new clothes. Unless you’re buying. Even then, just, don’t.

2 years ago.

1 year ago.


Clothing fit goals worked well for me in the past. I’d like to try it again. First would be to fit comfortably into my black work pants. Then the two denim shorts. Actually, those might happen at the same time, then if so, the two “dress” shorts. Eventually, I’d like to walk confidently in the pink dress.
____________________________

The big WHY: to continually be better than I have been.

I am currently not nearly at my best at all. This is actually my worst.

I want to feel good and look good. Feeling good includes physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I want to be able to do more, to handle more. I want to be ready. I want to try more things and not be worried that my body might be holding me back.

Reaching those goals of a schedule, tracking, strength, and fit-ness will be markers that I’m moving towards the Why.

This is just another starting point.
____________________________­

I do have hurdles to get over, mostly mentally I think. However, I think I’m in a better spot to warm up to all of this taking care of myself stuff again.

Um… so… this is the end. Of this entry.




Thank you for reading! You are welcome to leave a comment and/or question(s) in the section below :)

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Disclaimer: I am not a professional health anything. I am a health trekker, updating my audience with the different sights, and hopefully encouraging others on their own journeys. I am moving towards a healthier lifestyle in a slow and steady approach.




Wednesday, August 17, 2016

The Week's Peeks: Olympic Viewing


Post originally published by Jennifer X on Born Jennius, 17 August 2016.

I love watching the Olympics. I prefer the Summer Olympics to the Winter, simply because I can't get enough of the swimming and the gymnastic events. 

This year's events have been incredible! Record-breaking, several ties, just wonderful performances.

Besides swimming and gymnastics, I also watch a little track and I catch any volleyball that I can, indoor and outdoor. 

Here are the Week's Peeks from the weeks of July 31st and August 7th:





We're on a mission....



Mission accomplished: Maui Mike's.




The clouds have been unbelievable lately, just, so many and beautiful qualities.


Happy for Michael Phelps.



She loves me.



Minimal canister. The spoon folds up and fits into that top. Not pictured is the cover that goes on top. Tested: soup, oatmeal. To work for breakfast or lunch. So far, good. Wondering what else....



Amazing.





Final Five: YES, you are!




Getting fired up for swimming again, hopefully! I miss it, I dream it, and with starting up Healthy Go again... :D


The Ledecky


Where else? Tanioka's!


Gonna miss this.


Backstroke love.




What?!


Eyes; Teri Miyahira Beauty eyeshadows in Peace and Positivity.

Face: Teri Miyahira Beauty powder bronzer in Faith
Laura Geller Balance-N-Brighten in Medium
NYX blush in Peach
BECCA Luminous Skin Perfector in Moonstone

Lips: NYX lip pencil in Fuchsia
Maybelline Vivid Matte lipstick in Electric Pink

Yes, I do tend to wear the same 5 outfits all the time.



Okay, I do these particular setups because I'm having fun with the hair.
Same face as above, just at the end of the day instead of the beginning.




Menchies: pineapple, cookies & cream, with carob chips, graham cracker crumbs, cheesecake bits.




Ridiculosity.




Do you watch the Olympics? Which events?


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