Saturday, April 26, 2014

Beauty On YouTube

I’ve only gotten into makeup within the last few years and have been slowly working out skills for it. I still sort of just do what I want with it though, like doing only eyes or foundation, etc. My looks must be noticeably uneven as well at times, since I don’t have the right lighting and setup. Basically, I am only allowed to do my own makeup.

Anyways, I thought I’d share some YouTube Beauty channels that I’ve come across, ones that have taught me things or given me ideas to try along the way.

One of the first beauty channels that I subscribed to was Michelle Phan.  Her videos seemed very well thought-out and put together. Also, being of Asian-ancestry (if you couldn’t tell), I was looking for lessons from a fellow Asian-descendant. She does a variety of styles, from the everyday, the natural, to the costume looks. She recently launched her own makeup line, em, of which I have not yet checked out. I highly recommend her tutorials.

Another channel is AllThatGlitters21, by Elle Fowler. Her sister Blair also has a beauty channel - JuicyStar07. Elle is the elder, with blonde hair, green eyes; Blair is the younger, with brown hair, brown eyes. They’re both quite on the girly side. I’d say they mostly do everyday kind of looks, but sometimes Blair will do Halloween looks when it comes around. Blair talks a lot and quickly, where Elle is more calm usually. They have businesses outside of YouTube, and haven’t been posting videos very often lately.

After awhile, I started going subscription-happy for beauty channels. I wanted to see what was out there and then figure out which channels I wanted to keep following. Some channels, I have gone back and forth with the subscription. Some of the channels that I am currently subscribed to that I’d like to share are (in no particular order):

Makeup Geek - Marlena. [Highly recommend]. Also has a line of brushes and makeup, all under Makeup Geek. I have only tried her eyeshadows, and they are wonderful, beyond the affordable price - I recommend them.

Julia Graf - Internationally featured. I don’t know if she’s a professional makeup artist, but it would be a good guess. Wide variety of looks, mostly celebrity-inspired ones.

emilynoel83 (Beauty Broadcast/ Beauty Broadcast Express) - Former newscaster, now beauty broadcaster. [Highly recommend]. Very informative and to the point. I really appreciate her reviews. BB Express is short product reviews every Monday through Friday. Fridays are men’s product reviews (and a joke) by her husband, Tyler.

Tati (GlamLifeGuru) - Mostly everyday looks. Informative on drugstore brands and saving money at the store.

vintageortacky - Cora. Very colorful! Highly recommend if you like playing with very colorful looks. She does artistic, and sometimes everyday looks as well.

Pixiwoo - Sam and Nikki Chapman, sisters. [Highly recommend]. Professional makeup artists. Nikki, more simple and fresh looks; Sam, wilder, more artistic looks. Sam’s line of makeup brushes - Real Techniques -  quite good at an affordable price. I use her brushes and plan to add more to my collection along the way.

Amarixe - Allison. Mostly everyday looks. Really has a thing for blush. I think, though skilled as she is, it’s her enthusiastic yet calm personality is what keeps me watching more.

From Head To Toe - Jen. Mostly everyday looks. If you’re also looking for tips for those of Asian ethnicity, I recommend Jen.

Charisma Star - Charis. Winner - 2012 NYX Face Awards. Very artistic, both with her makeup and the video production.

*What I mean by “everyday looks”: looks that could be worn on an everyday basis, including night-out looks. May include trends that are just under being “artistic” in nature.

**Click on the names to go to their channel.

If you’re starting out with makeup and don’t know where to start, like I was (and kinda still am), I think these are all good channels to help you on your way. If you don’t like to be subscription- crazy, then start out with the ones that appeal to you or just go by the ones that I marked as “Highly recommend”. I’d say most of these channels are ones that post videos quite regularly, if not frequently. I am subscribed to many others, so I am sure that there is something for everyone out there.

  • Is there a beauty channel that I didn’t mention but which you would recommend?

Friday, April 25, 2014

Healthy Go: Hello?

Hello! I’m still alive! Yay.

Obviously, I’m still not back into weekly HG updates… yet. Finals are coming up again soon and so hopefully I can get through this bit and work up a groove again. I think one of the things that helps me keep on a HG trend is a regular schedule; when I started HG, I had two semesters of fairly regular schedules, and when I started sliding, it was during a rather irregular schedule. I am not naturally motivated to schedule myself out, and so having an external framework helps me greatly, to get me in a rhythmic pattern.

I’m moving about well again, I think. I’ve started to work in exercise a little more over the weeks. I’ve noticed that since that latest on-crutches episode with my legs, my legs are able to remain straight more than they could before, so somehow, that last painful experience worked out something in my leg muscles, corrected something. What? I don’t know. When I would sit up, I would have to bend my knees quite a bit. I noticed though, that when I do leg lifts, I am able to keep my knees unbent more now.

I’ve been eating more fresh foods lately. I didn’t say that I ate all healthy, but I’ve been eating fresher foods overall. Here are a few of the things I’ve been eating lately (better than eating fried or fast food ALL the time), and not all of them are healthy (but eaten in moderation):

1. Chicken, avocado half, asparagus, parmesan cheese. I was too lazy that night to mash up the avocado into a nicer spread.

2. Chicken, avocado half, artichoke.

3. Healthy Choice steamers: Portabella Spinach Parmesan and Four Cheese Ravioli & Chicken Marinara - - I try pre-made home dinners only about once or twice a year for quick options. I wouldn’t make these a main choice regularly. However, out of all, I have enjoyed the HC steamers - enough flavor, one can take out some of the sauce for less calories, enough to be one satisfying meal.

4. Veggie Wrap - I might have shared this before. For an on-campus option, this seems very healthy - spinach wrap, spinach, tomato, carrots, american cheese, red cabbage, a little bit of sauce. I would prefer a different cheese, but this will do.

5. Food from the Greek Corner. Greek food is not necessarily all healthy, so watch portions. Spanakopita and Baba Ghannouge with pita bread as appetizers, for lunch and dinner. Beef and Lamb Gyro with Fries, for lunch and dinner (should have ordered with salad instead). (I didn’t use any salad dressing or sauces). I like it and splitting the portions are satisfying enough for me.

6. Shrimp Chow Mein - my aunt treated me to Chinese food. I finished about 1/5th of the plate, then shared the rest later with Mom and Dad. It was good but it was a lot!

7. Asparagus with parmesan cheese, spinach and mushroom salad (with a dot of butter for taste).

8. Bowl of fruit. Strawberries, blackberries, and I’ve also been eating bananas, grapes, apples, and oranges. I am waiting for kiwi fruit to come into season and enjoy those again also.

Other than that, I have been snacking on more almonds, Snapea Crisps, and Barbara’s Baked White Cheddar Puffs, sometimes a cheese bite like Babybel or string cheese. I’ve also been enjoying some mocha drinks, but I have been making it a point to have more water along with them; I’ve been drinking more water overall even without mocha drinks.

I didn’t think my body looked like it had changed at all, but on a whim, I decided to try on my aqua shorts again and guess what - they fit again! Yay me! I still have a ways to go, but that is a good step in the right direction, and think how much more will change as I ramp up efforts. Enlarging wardrobe without spending more money by refitting into old clothes - WIN.

Next up: beach shorts. My Seattle shirt could stand to be a little less tight as well.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Mama Said Knock Me Out

In an earlier post, I guessed the types of my family: ISTJ Dad, ESFP Mom, and INTP Bro. I am most likely an INTP. I can’t imagine that I am any other type, though I’ve looked into other types.

This post will be musings of having an ESFP mom. I am not entirely certain that she’s an ESFP- I’m about 70% certain.

(Disclaimer: I am a novice in all things related to MBTI, typology, type functions, etc.)

I love my mom very much. Mom and I have a good relationship overall, but we hit turbulence quite often, more so when I was younger. I was not an easy child to raise, and her parenting style added to the difficulty. I would ask her why, and she would answer with, “Because I’m the mommy, that’s why!” -probably not the best answer for an NT child….

As I grew older, I have slowly become increasingly considerate of my mother’s ways. I know that Mom loves me, and I know that she wanted to be a good mother; I think she was a good mother. I know that she has worried about any “damage” she thinks she might have done to me (I don’t think she should worry).

One of the things that has been difficult for me in relating with Mom has been that she’s emotional, or at least, she’s the most emotional one of our family. She’s very caring of others, and I admire her ability to do that, but being her daughter, I haven’t navigated her emotional phases well at all. I wouldn’t know what her mood will be, how she will react to me, or how to respond well to her. I wouldn’t know whether she was upset with me or upset about something unrelated to me. I want to love Mom well but I often feel inadequate to do so.

I’m not sure how this relates to our types if at all, but both Mom and I are strong-willed people. So here is a strong-willed, emotional mother trying to raise an even stronger-willed, emotionally-stunted daughter, and conflict ensues.

Somewhat related to her mood changes is her impulsivity. It can be wonderful or it can be… confusing, or annoying, for me. One of the negative experiences was that one day, Mom decided to take us to the park and not leave until I learned how to ride a bike without training wheels, on my own. I stubbornly refused to ride because it was what she wanted me to do and I didn’t want to yet. She got upset and then left us there (we lived close by; it’s not like she abandoned us). I was so angry that I cried. Bro stood there, waiting for me to calm down, and then he patiently taught me to ride the bike on my own. I almost didn’t want to learn even then, to spite my mom, but I was probably too tired to fight any longer and didn’t want to have fought Mom AND Bro in the same ordeal.

But there have been good impulsive memories, much more that outweigh the few negative ones. I remember being at the mall, walking by the ear-piercing store, and Mom deciding all of a sudden that it was a good time to get my ears pierced. I remember going to the Humane Society to visit the cathouse, falling in love with a calico kitten, and bringing that kitten home with us (Dad was not very happy about that at the time). I remember Mom staying up late to help me build my model for studio.

Would have to dig more for a photo of the two of us,
but here is one of me. Mom liked to make me her model.
I wrote out a very specific moment of Mom lifting up my spirits with her impulsiveness, but I don’t think that I am ready to share the full story yet, the details. Basically though, I was in a low state; I think somehow, Mom sensed that it was serious this time. Mom made an impromptu stop at a store where she ended up buying something for me that was not the usual thing. Material things tend not to matter to me, but this item I treasure greatly, because it reminds me of Mom’s love for me. I’m not tuned in to what she’s going through and she’s not tuned in to what I’m going through, though she tries, so this item reminds me of a rare moment when we connected. She probably doesn’t remember this, we’ve never talked about it, but I remember.

I admire Mom for how people-oriented she is, how she is able to navigate social events, for her creativity, and for the joy she seems to emanate so often. She’s able to loyally support the things with which she’s involved. When I do talk, she listens, and I’ve started to recognize that she’s actively trying to understand me - and not that she’s not “smart,” because I don’t really think about that, but I mean that Mom and I have very different interests. It takes me time and energy to try to understand what she says.

My experience as an INTP with an ESFP mother: quite rocky but also a delight. Probably the best thing about Mom, for me, is that she allows me to be a risk-taker more, to take the opportunities given to me to experience all that I can; I don’t always go through with it, but the times that I have, it’s been wonderful.

Uhmm… The End.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

A Father With A Daughter

In an earlier post, I guessed the types of my family: ISTJ Dad, ESFP Mom, and INTP Bro. I am most likely an INTP. I can’t imagine that I am any other type, though I’ve looked into other types.

This post will be musings of having an ISTJ dad.

Dad and I have a good relationship. Love rules in our family, and so I know that no matter what I do or how we might argue (which happens rarely), Dad’s love for me is a given.

Another probable major factor in our relationship being as good as it is is that Dad was one of the youngest of 8 children, with most of them being females. The point being that for my dad, there was no glazing over the fact that people are different, that men and women are different. I would think that being from a large family is quite different from being in a small one. Dad knows how to handle people in different ways, and to be patient with others. Dad has had to have a lot of patience with me, and I am glad he has it!

That being said though, I think it helps the two of us some, that I am not so much the typical female, that I’m not so outwardly sensitive and openly emotional that women tend to be or are perceived to be. I think it would have probably been difficult for my dad if I were more emotionally open. As it is, I know it hurts my dad to see me hurt, but I deal with it mostly on my own. I’m emotional, but I tend not to seek comfort from other people.

Back to patience: the gritty part is that Dad and I can get on each other’s nerves. I’m sure Dad would prefer that I take care of things right away. I can’t seem to get myself to do that on any regular basis with anything, and so he will continue to ask me if I’ve done what I’m supposed to until I say or show that I’ve done it.

Also, patience and answers: when I’m asked a question, I tend not to answer right away. I’m thinking about all I have to think about regarding the question, what my answer ought to be, and how I want to answer it. The question can be simple like, “What do you want to eat?” (an often-occurring situation for me with Dad). I will first think to myself, am I hungry right now? Will I likely be hungry soon? If it takes about a half-hour to get food from this place, I could be hungry in about a half-hour. Do I want food from there? And it goes on from there.

Meanwhile, Dad will be staring at me, not-so-patiently waiting for an answer. I have had to adjust a bit and be quick to say that I don’t want anything, or some other ready answer, in order to avoid the impatience. I get the sense that he was much more patient with me in this respect when I was younger, but I’m not very certain on it.

On my own, I don’t really pay attention to time unless I really have to. Dad raised us not to be on-time, but to be early. On my own things these days, I tend to be early. I don’t like to be late. I find it to be disrespectful, and I will sometimes get nauseated if it seems like I’m going to be late. This seems to be not a typical INTP trait, but I was trained by an ISTJ dad. I think the tension of being trained to be early and my inclination to not pay attention to time has fueled my independent nature more, which can be a good or a bad thing. To avoid having to be early, or getting queasy at the thought of being late, I would just rather not schedule anything or have an exact time set, so that I end up not being late or early, if I can help it. I’ll just go and do something on my own, because what do I care if I’m late to meet myself?

I’m sure that Dad used to be frustrated with how I went about school, because he thinks that I’m smart and all my teachers would say that I would be an A-student “if only she would _______”, but being the younger child and my bro being very similar in that way, Dad learned to let me be.

I know, very tame clashes, right? That’s the worst that I can come up with in how Dad and I relate.

Some of the good parts, because there are many, is that Dad, again, is very family-oriented. I love that I can depend on him; he’s a wonderful source of stability that I want from a parent. He’s got a good sense of humor. Quality Time being my main love language, Dad is always willing to give that. Dad allows me to be who I am, sometimes a little girly about certain things but overall quite “tomboyish,” and it’s all okay.

I’m always going to be his “little girl.” And I’m okay with that.

Dad has taught me a lot about responsibility and respect; the be-early thing is a part of this. I love that Dad is quite calm in his manners; it did me a lot of good while he was teaching me how to drive, calm and step-by-step, first-things-first. In fact, Dad has taught a lot of us how to drive: me, bro, several cousins, his sister, and probably others.

So, that has been my experience as an INTP with an ISTJ father. I don’t know if our relationship is typical of ISTJ-INTP parent-child; I suspect that it would be a naturally rockier relationship, but not horrible either, from what I’ve gathered from what others say about ISTJs and INTPs.

This is just one person’s point of view, one person’s experience - mine.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

“Fool of a Took”

I have been saying that to myself often lately. Lately, like the past few months. Wait, that’s the whole year so far. Sigh.
Only 9 more months to go. Then a fresh new “year” for more possible foolishness.

I don’t expect anyone to come to believe in God based upon my story; it would take a miracle that way… though, I believe in miracles.

But I mess up a lot. God is perfect; I am not.

Please excuse me if I ramble a bit. I’ve been in an odd mood for about a week now. I cried on Saturday for no apparent reason.

I cry now because I’ve got a reason.

My story is full of mistakes and blunders. I fumble my thoughts through my words a lot. I try to say things plainly but they still don’t come out right.

I made a mistake just yesterday. And then I added to it today. Even though I didn’t want that to happen.

I pushed someone away even though it’s not what I want. I pushed them away even though I know how much it hurt me to have that happen to me. I pushed them away even though I had told myself previously that I wouldn’t do that.

I think I’m just scared. Or… I don’t know. Nothing seems to matter anymore. Nothing is making sense anymore. I pushed them away because it seems I’ll be the one hurt either way. I don’t see the point of it all.

Someone asked in a forum about one leaving another because one didn’t want to hurt the other person anymore. I didn’t make comment on it. Yet that is how I think many times. I’ll leave because I seem to only be a source of frustration to the other person. Maybe that’s what I did yesterday.

Why did “Dictator” hurt me so much? Because I feared that they were right. Everyone seemed to be protecting them from Big Bad Jenn. So, I left.

I just can’t seem to do anything right. I want to do what’s right.

I’m frustrated with myself.

So. The breaking continues.

When I think that no further breakage is possible, I break more. Sometimes, I break myself, it seems.

Why do I let this happen?

It’s the path I’ve chosen. I’ll take the consequences. I’m just trying to do my best in my clumsy self ways.

I can’t see much ahead of me. I continue on because… my life is not my own. I continue on because… I don’t own the future. My miracle is still possible, just not now. I need to let more refinement take place.

I continue on because… God is in control, and on that, I can trust and rest.

I am not in control, and I’m so glad for that!

Because I’ve been a fool. Hopefully, not forever.

I make a lot of mistakes. Please forgive me.

If you have grievances against me, please let me know so that I might make amends.

Don’t believe because of what I say.  

Look into the death, deity, and resurrection of Jesus, and believe on that truth. On that, my hope is based.

1 Corinthians 2: 1-5 [NKJV]
1And I, brethren, when I came to you, did not come with excellence of speech or of wisdom declaring to you the testimony of God. 2For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. 3I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling. 4And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, 5that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.