Monday, December 31, 2012

Goodbye, 2012!

Cut my hair short triangle again
2012 has had some very good times and some very difficult times for me. Every year seems that way but the past year was especially good and especially difficult to where I prayed all day constantly just to get me through to the next day.  

Someone had thrown back at me, during a breaking moment for me (being broken), that I’m an adult and I talk about being strong all the time on this blog (so go be strong!). Well, I also talk a whole lot more about being broken. Because I am. A whole lot more than I let on to most people, including my family, who sees me most often.

So, I am still here. I am still sharing with you as much as I am able. I am strong, but even the strong will have weak, broken moments and it would be good for them to have good people around them when it comes. I do a great many things on my own, more than I should have to. Whatever strength has gotten me through this year, it was truly all God’s strength. That is what I really want to say.
My customary poke and drink
to start the new year

God knows all of my deep, and often dark, secrets. Yet, he still loves me and allows me to cry out to him when I feel my heart just breaking and trying to harden. My heart is still beating and it is still… kind of soft, I guess.

And I know that God loves you and is there for you too. Even when you can’t hear him. Even when you can’t feel him. Even when you don’t want him.

Though God is there for me, though he is all I need, and he gave me a good family, I still don’t believe that he meant any of us to be lone rangers. I believe he meant us for community. I am still worried about what I will do in those times that I ought not to be alone.

So I’m going into 2013, kinda glad that I survived 2012, and I’m looking for my vision. 

Thank you, God, for bringing me through another rough year.
____________________________

Usually, I post photos of the past year, and I didn’t think I’d have much this time besides pics of me and cats, but here goes a few… Here’s the good moments and some of the tough…


Tracie wedding
Shelly wedding
Julie wedding

In 2012…


  • My sister/ friend Tracie got married!
  • I got my first Kindle book!

Mega on my old keyboard (Got a new
one this year)
I meet THE Man for the first time
(here with Julie)












  • I went to HCWO’s Arise Conference!
  • My friends Rach and Zac celebrated their 1 year anniversary! (I was in Rach’s wedding party, and we talked about the anniversary coming up)
  • I was tested.
  • I started posting links to this journal on my Facebook- more people are reading! (Yikes!)

Using the Fire!
My other Fire use. 











  • I did a makeup challenge with my friend Holla!
  • I became a Lego- AYO! (inside joke)

DIY holder

Another organizing move I made














  • I started working on a yet-potential business for me. (Currently stalled)
  • I started regular post series: Bible reading reflections, Wednesday posts, and Healthy Go!
  • My friend Shelly got married!

Tiff, Royce, and Jourdan, c/o 2012
One of my favorite scents this year













  • I got a phone call from a surprising someone from church. It was a good call, an answer to a prayer, yet I am still de-churched, but I will be so glad to see that person if I re-church at that church!
  • I fit into my dress (from Rach’s wedding) again!

HCWO Arise conference
Holla's Eye Makeup Challenge














  • I went to Seattle!
  • My sister/ friend Julie got married! (I read a scripture for the ceremony)
  • I went to HCWO’s E&I Conference Endure!

I'm a 10 again!

More silly time with Rach













  • We said goodbye (for now) to a great lady to many, a wonderful person in my life, Mrs. Matsuda.
  • I got my makeup done by a M.A.C. artist!
  • Rach, Zac, and Sonnie took me out for dinner on my birthday!

At the Chihuly Garden and Glass

Birthday Dinner













  • I took a successful Facebook break- a full month of not even trying to reactivate! (I had an unsuccessful break earlier in the year)
  • I got a couple of A-s in courses! (And survived Persecution Tuesday)
  • I read through the Bible in a year!
  • And a lot of brokenness moments for me.
____________________________

Though I have anxiety every time I post something, I am glad that I have this journal as one of the ways I can look back on the years. It was rough but not all struggles. Blogger has stats now so here are some interesting posts, maybe:


My most read/seen post (stats say 132 views): Jewelmint: All Wrapped Up and Paradise Plume

My most commented post (6 from other than me): Healthy Go: Cravings vs. Notions

My Healthy Go Year End Review: Healthy Go: End of Year Review
____________________________

Goodbye 2012, see you around. Hello 2013, welcome…!

It’s going to be BITTERsweet heartBREAK mode for me.

Thank you for reading and I’ll see you next year!

Doesn't Charis look so excited for another year with ME?!