Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Jeremy Camp / Let It Fade


I have written about Jeremy Camp before, years ago when I was still trying out this blog experience. I find myself going back to his songs from time to time.

Today, his “Let It Fade” is the one for me.



It is the one for me many days.

I’ve said before and I will keep saying it; I am hard on myself most of all. I am much harder on myself than anyone knows. If you could have a glimpse into my mind, it could crush you. Even if I’ve talked about someone else, I am echoing back those same words unto myself.

One can imagine that people have been ugly to me many times over the years. Imagine turning all that ugliness unto myself. When someone wrongs me, I get upset for sure, but most of it is blaming myself for my part in it. I grieve all the hurts and rudeness I’ve inflicted on others.

I suppose I… I just expect myself to be better, to know better, to do right. And I often don’t and I generally know it. Imagine of all the wrongs that I’m unaware. If I knew every single wrong I’ve done…

So I believe that Camp is inspired by God, at least from what I’ve read of his story and what I receive from his songs.
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God is good. He is so good.

Today, I am taking responsibility for my part and then giving it to God.

I feel like I have been “walking on a surface that’s uncertain.”
I feel like I have been “standing on [my] own feet too long.”
As much as I’m not a joiner, maybe a part of me has been “looking for a place where [I] belong.”

I’ve definitely been looking for rest. I haven’t even asked for happiness, just rest. Just for things to be okay for a short while.

For one night of sleep that is undisturbed by my own haunting thoughts.

And God is taking it from me.

Some time ago, I let a friend in on this secret of mine, that I am hard on myself, and she gave me permission to let it go. It’s starting to sink in. I don’t know why, but having someone give me permission helped. I didn’t even know I needed it.

I may need a reminder once in awhile.

And so Camp’s “Let It Fade” is a part of that helpful reminder.
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Is there something that you need to let go?

Let it fade. Give it to God.

Have I hurt you in anyway? If yes, know that I am sorry for the hurt.

Thank you for reading and thank God for inspiring Jeremy Camp with this song!