Sunday, July 10, 2011

That’s Just Sick

What a couple of months I’ve been having. So there was the leg thing, which is still… taking some getting used to- it’s almost like my left leg has been exerting some strong-will of its own.

Now for the past week I have been sick. I mean SICK. I think it’s the flu. I feel sick often enough but this has been the most sick I’ve been in a long time… I think.

My throat started itching on Sunday night. Then the achiness, runny nose and cough began. I took an allergy remedy so the nose was taken care of right away and hasn’t reoccurred. I’ve coughed up very little phlegm yet. I haven’t been very hungry either.

The fever was full-blown by Tuesday. The fever broke late Thursday… only to try making a comeback on Friday. So Friday-Saturday-today, I slept A LOT.

There have been moments of feeling better only to feel worse again later.

Blech.



So, the leg… I still don’t have full range of motion back and I haven’t been working it much since being sick. Last night it ached more than it has in a while- I don’t know if that has to do with being sick.

I still think my left foot looks freaky, like it’s not my own foot but a transplant somehow. I kind of think my whole leg looks different but I can only really see my foot clearly. It’s a slightly different color than the right one, a little darker. The arch is flatter than it used to be.

Sensations through my leg are… interesting. When I stretch out on my bed, the left leg pulls up instead of pushing straight out. And it tingles, like a series of tiny shocks communicating with each other- “she said to straighten out but let’s pull tighter anyway.”

I used to sit with my left leg up or under me- maybe that attributed to it being susceptible to nerve damage? Now it feels better to sit with my knee bent 90 degrees and foot flat to the ground.

It’s still uncomfortable to sleep on my left side. I did once recently, but I think it was because I was so sick and tired that I didn’t think about my leg much.

I think I have some muscle atrophy… or it’s just that the nerve damage changed the strength and feel of my muscles; I really don’t know what’s going on.



However, I am walking. It’s not my driving leg which is good. I was going to try going back to the elliptical at the gym to see how it does but I’ll have to wait until I’m definitely not sick anymore- don’t want to spread that around!

All this motivates me more to lose weight and gain more muscle. And clean my room more.

Also, since I had a lot of quiet time, I’ve blazed through a bunch of books and movies. I’ve snooped some of my friends’ Facebook pages, especially the photos.

And I’ve been thinking a lot about change. I mean, it’s constantly on my mind anyway as no day is completely the same, no two experiences lived the same way, and I don’t like to stagnate. I think people look at me and expect me to always be like this- whatever it is they think of me. There is a sense that is and always will be me but I am not the same me I was 5 years ago, I am not the same me I was 10 years ago. I’ve been thinking about my next evolution- is there something I should definitely start moving towards?



Okay, I could ramble on. You’re lucky you’re not in my head!

Thank you for reading.