Saturday, April 23, 2011

Faith in a Vacuum

On January 1st of 2008, I renewed my commitment to Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I didn’t miss one Sunday of church that year; I woke up excited that it was Sunday and that I had the privilege of going. In the middle of 2009, I heard God’s call to service and jumped in; I took another step in the right direction on my Christian journey.

Yet 2009 ended in… I don’t even have a word for it. It was not good.

I tried to forge ahead and refresh the efforts in 2010. I tried to put on bravery. It didn’t happen. Instead, I was crushed by May.

So here it is in 2011. I have been to church twice. One was for seeing my spiritual son off to a new time in his life. The second was in order to hear a well-known Christian author give the sermon at a friend’s church.

Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever go back.

It isn’t for not wanting to go to church. It isn’t for a lack of a church to go to.

It isn’t for a lack of belief in God.

Yet faith in a vacuum is meaningless.

Along the lines of “writer’s block,” I have “servant’s block.”

Proverbs 29:18 [KJV] ~
Where there is no vision, the people perish:
But he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

Easter Sunday approaching… and I am without the fire. I am without a flame. I am without a spark.

I have no more home.

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