Saturday, November 27, 2010

Still Up

I couldn’t sleep. Did I try? Yes, this time I did.

So… what shall I write about?

How about what I’ve already written?

So much is constantly on my mind. Getting it out, not so easy. Not so plainly either.

Ah, so if you’ve been reading, now you know that I write something like poetry. I suppose it is literally poetry. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like it’s just a bunch of words put together.

That last one I posted, I was thinking… I usually don’t care much for poetry that rhymes. I suppose it’s because oftentimes, the rhymes feel forced. At least, I read something I wrote and I remember how it was forced. The last one I posted rhymed, mostly. It didn’t feel forced though while writing it. I really didn’t want this one to rhyme. It is what it is now.

Then to add an image assist, that is tough to do. I wish someday to write a poem and to create the artwork for it. At the moment, I don’t have the time, or I guess I could be drawing something right now instead of typing these thoughts, but I think I should be sleeping, and so drawing would be too much.

The image assist for the last one is a scene from the 2002 version of “The Four Feathers.” If you care to, or are bored, either one will suit, that might help you guess at why I added that image. I know sometimes it seems like I didn’t think at all but truth is that in almost everything I do, I have put a lot of thought, a lot of my heart, into it, which is why it can be devastating if not received well. I usually don’t care, but I do have my vulnerabilities.

Did you know that Crusty once asked me to write songs with her and Joyous?

I’m trying to remember how that came about, how Crusty knew that I wrote poems. I don’t remember, because I rarely share them with others. I’m a little Dickinson-y with them. I guess I’m easing up because what does it matter now? Or maybe I’m too tired at the moment. Or maybe a little of both.

Oh, so Crusty and Joyous have amazing singing voices. I miss hearing them sing. Joyous wanted me to sing with them but man, that would be something. Eye found out that one way to get me to sing is to wait until I’m that tired that I don’t care who’s listening. He wanted me to sing with him but he had a great voice too. So not fair. I was so tired that I didn’t even know I was singing. All of a sudden, the music turned off [so he could hear me sing].

Anyways, Crusty asked if I would write songs with them because she knew that I wrote poems. I didn’t think my poems were any good, but I said okay. Shortly after, Crusty and Joyous had a falling out, so we never wrote any songs, or they didn’t with me anyway.

I kinda would like to write a song. I would need a really good musician though, because I’m not musically inclined in that way. Or I’m too tired to write the music also. I don’t know.

Are you glad that I’m writing instead of sleeping yet?

No?

Hmmm, maybe you need some sleep.

Better yet, next time you’re really tired, read my poems again and see if that helps.

And now I have Fist singing all the time. She has a good voice too. And for some reason, though I don’t know her to lie, she think that I sing well too. Huh. Wild.

Then Joker hadn’t played or sang for about a year. Recently, he did so with Squeaks them. It was good to see and hear.

Kinda reminded me of how we used to be. At almost any given time, one of us would have a guitar. We’d be at the beach or the park or wherever, and someone would start singing praise songs and then someone else would bust out their guitar. Even though we each struggled with something, we sang mostly praise songs. We were at Crusty’s friend’s house late one night and we started singing! Ah, good times.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, I’m open to listening to Christmas music.

Oh Holy Night! Woohoo!

Even though I have three versions of it on my iPod and listen to it all year long. It’s just that good.

Okay, so now that I’ve posted a ridiculously long post, and then a poem ‘cause I couldn’t sleep, and then wrote this other ridiculous post, maybe I’ll try reading. Or I don’t know.

I think something’s bothering me.

The end.