So, the same day that Pastor Cousin gave me a pitch about becoming a member of our church, I got an invitation to a lunch to learn about another church.
I’ve thought and wondered about becoming a member of a church, but not in a way like the Holy Spirit was nudging me towards it. I haven’t come up with decisive reasons to do it or not to do it. I suppose the thing that holds me back is my personality.
When I commit to something, even if it’s for my own knowledge, I tend to commit to the fullest. Especially lately, things are serious for me as I’m coming into wholeness in my journey with Christ; this is the most on-fire that I’ve ever been and it’s only growing. I think that church membership is something that I ought not to take lightly.
At the same time, I am and have been fully committed to my church already. I am coming upon my third anniversary of committing to and serving this church. I am a blessed one to be called to serving the church that I love. I’ve taken a few much needed breaks here and there but they were taken so that I wouldn’t become burned out, that I refresh to do the work with the right reason, or in order to deal with sin issues [to be honest here]; it’s been for the best benefit to me and for the church. In most things, I seem to need periods of stepping back, evaluating, and resetting. Even through the toughest moments, I fought hard in good part in order to stay in service-ready condition at this church.
Part of me thinks that I might… like the maverick stuff I’ve mentioned before, I am concerned about becoming institutionalized. When I sense that I’ve been in a comfort zone possibly too long, I buck against it and break wild. When I was in the long depression of years and years and I couldn’t seem to break free from it… I was almost gone at moments. It seems like perhaps, people in this church need a little shake up, and I really don’t wanna worry about regulations and voting decisions and all that and forget about the shaking it up; there are enough people worrying about those things and forgetting about the most important thing. Things are so good and tough and worthwhile right now that I don’t wanna be distracted from the most important thing.
If I make the decision to do it, the choice would be gone and I could get lazy about making that choice each day, you know what I mean? Huh, it is like a marriage, isn’t it? Hmmm….
Though, Pastor Cousin made good points. I love my church. I’m already committed. Membership is one more step in maturing, that’s all, just one more step. And at this point of my journey, the decision wouldn’t be just the next step. I was baptized more than a decade ago and didn’t become a member right away just because it was something to do; I waited to make sure. I should be sure by now, right? One can’t say that I didn’t take this seriously or that I didn’t understand the meaning of it. When I make a decision like this, I need to make it, and it might be a good time to do that.
And it would be a statement for others, a help to them. Again, it’s one more step in being a leader in the complete sense. It would be a testimony, more so if one knows me, to do the hard work, to allow for blessings, to dream big, trust God all the way! Did I ever imagine I would be who I am today? Did I think it possible that what people were telling me all along was true? Did I dream to be used in service for ministry so mightily, or at all? Dream about being a part of refreshing the church? NO WAY. God delivers more than we could hope for ourselves, and it looks like nothing we could ever think of, if we make that commitment to obey. If I should decide to become a member, it would be like a college graduation for me, being that I do have difficulty identifying or joining a group.
Sorry, maybe I got a little away from what Pastor Cousin was saying. It would be a help to others, showing them that I believe in something and what that is. It would show boldness to commit to something big without fear. It would show what a true, complete leader does.
I’ve gone through a four-class program about who another church was. Some people from my church got nervous when I went to that other church, but I never had the intent of moving away. Still, I was able to learn a few things through that program. The upcoming lunch, it’s at the same time that I could be doing something else but something that I don’t have to do. I would go out of curiosity than like really wanting to become a part of their church. Can’t blame them for trying though, right? I’m a hot commodity at the moment! Haha! As if they would know that, if it were even true!
I don’t know what I’m gonna do about becoming a member. I really like being a “free agent,” but good free agents get signed eventually, right? Praying. Weighing.
Is it my time?