Sunday, October 10, 2010

Untitled [10.10.2010]

Our heavenly Father,

How can you be so patient with me? How can you know me perfectly and continue to love me? Everything is yours and you share it with me without my deserving. Every day you have awaken me from sleep. Every day you have provided more than enough for me.

Yet I am a complainer. I am weak. I am full of fear. I am afraid because I know that I am not enough.

You are more than enough. How is it that you meet me where I am? How is it that you should guide me towards who you have meant me to be, in unceasingly patient and generous ways?

I know you want more from me. I am full of fear. Is that what you want, my fear? All of it? My weakness too?

Thank you for what you have provided. Thank you for the refreshment and encouragement you have sent me. Thank you for the vision of hope and faith that you allowed me to see. Thank you for showing me that there are things to hope for, like a church united under your spirit.

And thank you, that though I have experienced such a church and that I have a desire to go there, you have given me purpose in a church that is fractured. It’s struggling to heal. The generations are losing faith and understanding. Thank you that it happens to be the church that I love, the church that has provided for me in the past. Thank you for opportunities to serve you in a church that is in need. I don’t know what I can do, but I have seen what you can do.

Thank you that in my fearfulness, you have allowed me boldness to carry on. Thank you for showing me that I don’t have to be fearful. I don’t have to be weak. I don’t have to feel hopeless. I don’t have to be the person I was. Thank you for allowing me moments of becoming one manifestation of your Son to others who are weak.

Please soften the hearts of others so that they might become more for you. Please open their eyes so that it will be a great struggle for them to turn away from you. Please rescue them from themselves as you have rescued me from myself.

Love,
Jennifer