Saturday, October 2, 2010

The Coming Attractions

Just as I am trying to put relationship talk out of my mind, Friend brings up the topic [as it related to a situation for Friend which I shall keep private]. Something in the conversation led me to think of Mo, I don’t remember what it was exactly.
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I was out one night with a coworker friend, Teeth. Teeth introduced me to all of his friends.

The introduction to Mo was brief. It seemed like he was distracted with looking for someone else. I think he barely looked at me, which wasn’t the goal of the night, for me to meet someone. I didn’t think of him after that until….

About a week later, that intro moment would come back to me. Cat and I, by chance, met up with Teeth and Mo at AM. What a difference. Mo definitely took notice of me this time; he stayed close to me and responded to things I said. I think he was even… nervous or something. When we parted, to be honest, I didn’t think much of him. I thought he was goofy.

However, Mo’s impression on me improved [slowly] with each meeting until one night, he boldly asked for my number. I was surprised and very impressed! It was then that I decided that I would give him a chance if he asked me out. I was still just thinking we’d end up as friends and nothing more though, but the fact that he asked me for my number rather than the easy route of asking Teeth- major points! How he did it was also quite interesting, to me anyway.

What really turned me towards Mo kind of… embarrasses me to talk about it. You’ll see why…

Mo took me to the beach. This was maybe our third or fourth date. I was still undecided about him. It was a beautiful day, we were having a good time, played with his dog. We set up our towel near shade and sat down for a little.

Then Mo stood up, took off his shirt and started for the water. He paused to look back at me. “Are you coming?” and then he was off to the water again.

I sat there for a second, just… I don’t know. This is the embarrassing part because of how it sounds, but when Mo took off his shirt and I saw his muscles, his form, him, my eyes opened [doesn’t that sound like something… nevermind]. I guess I just didn’t… expect him to… look like he could protect me in a fight. That’s when I became attracted to Mo.

Seriously, I was stunned for a moment. Like in a movie, I had to shake myself out of it and go join him for a swim.
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I told you. It sounds horrible, doesn’t it? You can think I’m shallow or whatever you want, I don’t care. I can’t even…. I mean, I am attracted to/by other things as well…. Nevermind.

Or maybe not nevermind. Maybe I’ll write about more attraction moments I’ve experienced, I don’t know.

Anyways, who knows how or why we become attracted to certain people? I’m a rather picky person in certain respects and I don’t like to string a guy along. And apparently guys in high school kinda sensed or knew this because I turned down this guy and that guy and then some others became intimidated by me. Until he recently got married, I had a friend continually ask me what I would have said if he had had the guts to ask me out back then. Some friends called me “coldhearted” because I didn’t give someone a chance. Hmmm… that’ll be a story for another time.

The truth is, if Mo had asked me out during that run-in at AM, I most likely would have turned him down. Looking back, he didn’t have the confidence then and he had acted as if I was too good for him, with which I tend to be uncomfortable. So, when he did ask me out and had confidence, that started to level things out between us, and then the shirtless part made us even, in a way. Ugh, I don’t know.

I’m glad that things worked out between Mo and I, for the most part. I mean, we did break up, but we had such good moments together so I can’t complain.

And for you, maybe give someone a chance. I don’t mean just anyone though, only that… if someone has enough going for you that there could be something there and you’re not sure, the situation might just need a little more time to develop. Be cautious, don’t wait around forever and end up feeling stuck, but consider being a little slower to say “no” to the beginning of a possible opportunity.

At least, this is what I learned from the experience with Mo.

Mahalo for reading.