Saturday, August 7, 2010

A Different Kind of Reflection

Subtitle: What Photographs Mean to Me

[This is a response to Photos On Display]

It’s been a theme many times in songs and movies, how one ought to do the thing, what is right, that allows one to look at oneself in the mirror and not cringe.

The mirror is… a tricky thing for me. I never really know what I will see in it, and it can have nothing to do with what I’ve done.

The day had gone all right and I was home again. After a few hours, I went into the bathroom for something, probably to wash my hands as I do often. I looked up into the mirror… and didn’t see myself. It was me, but it was a stranger. The sight and confusion started up a panic attack, which led to a depression, as panic attacks often did.

So I keep the mirror in the bathroom. In my room is only a small mirror for when I put on makeup. A full-length mirror would be helpful, to make sure there are no socks clinging to the back of the sweater I’m wearing and such. Maybe someday….

Photographs are a better reflection of who I am. They tell me about my day: what I did, what I saw, who I spent time with, how well the time was spent. They’re more honest and true than the mirror; at least, they are for me. The scenes, the memories of the captured moments, they never change.

So I put my favorite photographs on my walls. They bring back the friends and the laughter of the moment. When darkness comes to confuse my mind and heart, the photographs on my walls say that there is good in my life. To have someone smile when I take their picture is an honor to me. It's kind of like they trust me to take their picture. To have someone want me in the picture with them, to allow this association with me, is even greater.

The only trick here is to keep the photographs up on the walls. No photographs = not good.

But guess what? This moment, there are photographs on my walls. God is good! *wink.

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