Friday, July 9, 2010

Where Polar Bears Roam

It has been a good few days, rough at times, but good. One of the very good things has been that I got to spend a few hours on three days almost-in-a-row with a dear friend I don’t see much of anymore.

Backing up a little so you get more of the effect, before I officially met Polar, I had heard of him and his good nature. I don’t know when we were “introduced,” but right away he was accepting of me. We’ve been friends.

Then things changed. Polar is good with hugs but all of a sudden, he was hesitant around me. Don’t say it- I wasn’t imagining things.

And then without Polar knowing anything from me, I walked away from his group.
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This past Sunday, Polar came to help at church. Friends were getting baptized (yay). I was with the guys, watching from the second story. Polar came on the other side of me and stayed there for the whole baptism. It could be that it was a good spot for viewing; it’s just that he didn’t seem to mind being next to me for once in a long while.

Later, he had a little back-and-forth with Squeaks when I said something about food. This is Polar: he asked me what I wanted and he brings me back a plate of food. He’s always kindly taken care of me and I do my best not to take advantage of his goodness.

I got to hang out with Polar a little more a few days later at a friend’s party.

And then the other night, there was a meeting. I was surprised to see Polar there. Some serious talk happened where I am still separate from others. I know they’re not the only ones who want me around, but Squeaks and Fist so far have publicly stood up for me in some way. Oh, Marshmallow also, though I should probably give him a cooler codename. It’s not that they think I’m so great, just that they’re my friends no matter what and I believe them.

So that night Polar, in the way that only Polar could, stood up for our friendship as well. And I believe him also. Still, I don’t think Polar speaks for the group, he hasn’t been around much in the last year, and I haven’t talked to him so he doesn’t know what I’ve been going through.
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Switching gears a little, I’m not really used to others standing up for me. I suppose there hasn’t been much cause for someone to do so. I’ve stood up for myself, I’ve stood up for others, but I’ve mostly stood alone. Even if others would echo my sentiments privately to my own face, when it came down to it, I was the only voice to speak out publicly. I’m not a huge activist or anything; I’m just staying that I’ve stood by my convictions and generally don’t waffle.

Well, Polar, Squeaks, Fist, and Marshmallow, they’ll probably never know what they mean to me.