Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Much Ado About... A Little Something?

I’m in this strange place of… I’ve been thinking about what to do with this journal (still don’t like the sound of the word “blog”). A journal of a personal sort should be somewhat reflective. When I write in my private journal, I have no problem with this; I am very reflective. It is with this online journal (I’m gonna make up a word or name, call it “on-jor”), where I write with the expectation that someone else might read this though it feels like I’m writing to myself because I don’t know who my readers are or if there are any, that I am beginning to have a difficult time writing so much with “I,” so much of talking about myself. In general I’m not so comfortable revealing things about myself. I may often use “I” in conversations, but in a way of trying to relate to someone else; it’s not that I like the sound of my voice or that all I think about is me.

On the one hand, it’s a journal. It is meant to be self-reflective, as opposed to being self-centered. I do not wish to spread gossip about others, though I am not perfect in this. I didn’t start this on-jor as a dedication to any specific subject, as some have a blog for stamp collectors or mothers or the TV show Heroes, etc. However, I could write an entry about philatelists if I wanted to.
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I originally started this on-jor as a way of keeping in touch with my LD friends; well, mainly for Chulo. Then it was other LD friends with whom I would IM and they could catch up on their own time of what else I’ve been doing. One day I thought about how I seem to repeat the same stories often, so I should write them down; the on-jor was to be, in part, a depository for those stories. It has also collected some drips of my chaotic thought life; my thoughts run about 10 miles a minute.

I also thought this would be a good way for others to get to know me and for me to get to know them, meet people from different places whom just happened across my blog and read it. I figure someone might read something here and come to understand that they’re not alone in, for instance, dealing with depression or in preferring Jif over Skippy at all costs. Maybe Skippy diehards would like to discuss the subject further in the comments section.

Another thought was that I could use this on-jor to lift others up, give recognition to the good acts I witness. I enjoy saying praises about the good in people. I can get on the critical side also, not knowing how to say it in a loving way, but generally in being disappointed in seeing someone not live up to their potential. What others don’t realize is that I am most critical of myself.

And I just enjoy writing. I would like to become, among other things, an author of a published book. I would also like to become an editor or publisher or work at a publishing company; I think that would be exciting. Okay, a lot of things are exciting to me!

When people have writers’ block, as I often do, the advice is to “write what you know.” I… don’t know much about anything else but my self. How can I avoid writing so much about me?

At one time, I wanted to occasionally have feature posts by guest writers. I asked a friend to write something for this purpose, but it never came about.
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So here already is a full-page of writing about myself, about how I don’t want to write about myself. On occasion I’ve thought about ending this on-jor all together. Commenting has died. Maybe the final death of it will be calling it “on-jor.”

If you’re out there, any thoughts/ suggestions? Would you like to be a guest author with full credit? Should I just kill it?