## Monday, November 30, 2009

### Making Up with Makeup

For the longest time, my makeup kit has consisted of lip balm and not much else. Two reasons for this has been that my mom wasn’t the kind to wear a lot of makeup herself so couldn’t teach me anything and because my eyes and skin are very sensitive. I didn’t like that CoverGirl smelled like a medicine cabinet. Any mascara I’d tried would make me cry in a minute.

But now I’ve made up with makeup and having fun with it. I still don’t know how to manage day versus night time looks and coordinating cool, neutral and warm colors, but I don’t really care about that much; I’ll wear what I wanna wear.

The main contributor to this reconciliation with makeup is due to Nicole Miller. From what I know, she started out with clothes that are fabulous and started a cosmetics line a few years ago. Her makeup is only sold through the health-wellness company, Melaleuca. Her line is made with natural ingredients.
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For skincare I use the Hydrating Cleanser, Daytime Delivery Crème and Eye Wear Night Recovery Crème. All of this is gentle enough for my skin while being refreshing and clean. I also recommend the treatments; there is one for exfoliating, a refining mud masque, and a hydrating fruit masque, all of which I’ve tried and use.

On the eyes, nothing makes them water prematurely. The eye shadows go on smoothly and blend well with a lot of neutral colors to use and a few eye-popping colors. The mascara does not have any harsh, lingering perfumes. The waterproof mascara is really waterproof. I use the pencil eyeliner which is soft.

For the face, I use the mineral foundation set with loose powder. They both cover well and also have no lingering perfumes to irritate my skin. After awhile, I don’t realize I have anything on. I don’t care for the concealer, but that could be because I don’t know how to use concealer well at all. NM has great colors for blushes!

And LIPS! I love using lip gloss; I hate having dry lips. I also love the shape of my lips; I think I get them from Popo. My favorite colors from NM lip gloss are Flirt and Rumor. They are not sticky. NM also has a great line of lip-colors that are soft and smooth. I like Raspberry [discontinued], Fuchsia, Sun Ripened, and St. Valentine. I don’t know how to use lip liners either so I can’t say much about that.

One can probably tell that I don’t know how to talk about cosmetics, describing how they are and such. I can say that I recommend Nicole Miller cosmetics, especially if you have sensitive eyes and/or skin and care about using natural ingredient products.

http://www.melaleuca.com/ProductStore/ProductStore.aspx

I am a Melaleuca/NM seller, so let me know if you are interested in trying something! They also have a return policy that if you’re not satisfied with the product or the color isn’t right for you, you can return or exchange it.

Click on photo for larger view.

NM products used in photos:
Above right:
eyeliner Deep Bronze
waterproof mascara Brown/Black
lip color Sunripened
lip gloss Rumor
mineral foundation Light
loose powder Natural Beige [Discontinued]
blush Soft Rose

Below first:
eyeliner Deep Bronze
waterproof mascara Brown/Black
lip color Sunripened

Below second and third:
waterproof mascara Brown/Black

## Friday, November 27, 2009

### Christmas Wishlist 2009

You can skip this part. The real wishlist is the second half. ;)
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From LUSH: http://www.lushusa.com/shop/
The Sicilian Bath Bomb, 5.95
Honey I Washed the Kids Soap, 7.95
Miranda Soap, 7.95
17 Cherry Tree Lane Soap, 7.95
Each Peach Massage Bar, 8.75

GCs to: Charlotte Russe, Coldstone, Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, LUSH, MAC, Nordstrom, iTunes, Foodland

DVD [widescreen preferred]: He’s Just Not That into You, 27 Dresses, any X-Men movie, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Twilight, New Moon, Facing Giants, The Blind Side [still in theaters I think]

Elfquest Graphic Novels 6, 7 or 8
Choice Organic White Jasmine Tea
A case of Arizona Green Tea
Calgon Morning Glory products
Glitzy-Glam keychain: http://glitzy-glam.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=4&products_id=6
Marit Larsen “If a Song Could Get Me You” CD [it’s not on iTunes :( ]
Clarinet, singing, or dancing lessons
A webcam
A weekend with HFH
A night at the symphony
A friend for Huggy Love Bear…?! :)
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A gift idea you could give to others that you probably haven’t thought of: Road ID items http://www.roadid.com/. I came across this as I was in California on my own, riding the bike to and from work, travelling to Oakland by public transportation, etc. I have the Fixx ID. It’s just an idea if you know someone kinda safety-minded and travels a lot.

Here’s the serious part. I DON’T NEED ANYTHING. I have a home, I have food, I have clothes. So I would rather have gifts of donations to any of the following: Ligonier Ministries, The Hawaii Food Bank, East Bay Habitat for Humanity or the Honolulu Habitat for Humanity [East Bay is because that is the one I volunteered with personally and they do a wonderful job]. This would be good also because I would like to donate more of my own money, but that is not much at all compared to the amount I would like to give.

Oh, another idea, I would like gift cards from any grocery stores, fast food places, Longs in the amount of $5-$10. What I will do with these is have a few in my bag with me mainly for when I travel on my own, especially on the bus. I will give them to needy people that I meet on the street. This would help me feel a little safer when I go around on my own by not having a lot of cash on me but able to have something for someone in need. Plus, this way I wouldn’t spend the GC on myself [which I probably would if it were cash].

I’ve had this frequent thought also to have an extra umbrella or rain poncho or jacket that I could just give away to strangers who need/could use one on a cold and/or rainy day. Maybe one of those portable/foldable extra bag things in case someone’s bag breaks or something.

So again, GC from Foodland, Safeway, Times, Jack in the Box, McDonalds, Burger King, any other food places; Longs, Walgreens, Target, and the like. Write a little note saying it’s for the GC Giveaway Stash, just so I know it’s not for me personally.

Well, I’m not even sure why I posted this. Not a lot of people read this I think.

Are there any charities you would like to recommend supporting?

## Wednesday, November 25, 2009

### Muchas Gracias!

I am thankful:

>that God pursued me so many years ago and still pursues me today.

>for my family.

>that I have a home to live in, food to eat, and clothes to wear.

>for my cats, especially Charis, my favorite feline companion when I cry.

>for Jules, the most wonderful friend and counselor with grace and stamina to handle my junk.

>for my friends.

>to have a camara and other equipment and materials that help me capture memories that make me and others smile.

>for songs to sing.

>for interesting shows with fascinating nerds on them to watch.

>for the warmth of the sun and coolness of the wind and rain.

>for bodies of water to swim [and swim sleep] in.

>to have a cell phone with which I can call for help when I need it, ease my parents’ minds about my safety, or annoy people because I tend not to hear it ringing.

>for humor, that we can laugh and enjoy life.

>for physical health (mental health is in question).

>for home cooked meals.

>that God put so much of Himself into the Bible that we might know Him more.

>to have various tools of expression at my use, like this journal.

>for communication devices that allow me to keep in touch or reconnect with people.

>for all the difficult times that I’ve gone through and for what those experiences taught me.

>for the iPod that was a gift two years ago.

>for people who know more than I do and are patient to teach what they know.

>for lip balm and other lip-protecting agents.

>that small business places like Waimalu Chop Suey and Shiro’s are still around.

>for the giving and receiving of unexpected gifts at an unexpected time.

>for soap, and I mean this seriously; I am thankful for soap.

>for inspiration, wherever I find it.

>for public transportation.

>for you!

What are you grateful for?

Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

## Tuesday, November 24, 2009

### Punching Out

I took a kickboxing class at 24 a few years ago. I loved it, except that I am not very coordinated. A few grandparents in the class were doing better than I was.

So to work on the coordination, as well as re-boost my fitness confidence, I am trying out an exercise DVD. It is Jillian Michael’s Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism. She’s one of the trainers from Biggest Loser, which is pretty much the only “reality” TV show I would watch or want to be on. Actually, I haven’t watched it in a long time and if I were that big, I probably wouldn’t want to go national with my size, but if it were a choice between BL and Survivor or Big Brother....

I chose this DVD because it is mostly kickboxing basic circuits and using one’s own body for weight training. I can’t get through all the circuits yet. I’ve worked out to it about four times now. It really gets one’s heart going. I love it so far. My muscles are really being worked! Now to get rid of the layers of fat so I can see my muscles. :)

I’ve been inactive for far too long. I’m more of a physical outlet person than a passive-aggressive when getting out frustrations, and I have several frustrations I’d rather punch out. I wanna work up to taking the class at 24 regularly; maybe I’d be less stressed. I think it might also help if I lost some weight. Overall I’d like to lose 25, but I’m gonna aim for 5 by…January? I should start swimming again also.

We will see how it all goes!

[One last thing: I am NOT saying that I am fat. I am saying I have fat. I would like to lose some of the fat so I can fit into more of my clothes better.]

## Monday, November 23, 2009

### Skippy or JIFF?

Serious question: do you prefer Skippy or JIFF peanut butter?

My family buys JIFF. Recently I bought Skippy because it was on sale and I’m trying to be VERY good about money. I don’t think I’ll be buying Skippy again. I wonder if it matters that I got the reduced fat one?

Oh! And I prefer chunky pb over smooth. I like having it on top of honey graham crackers. Yum! I like pb and banana sandwiches also! I think I’m gonna hafta have a snack soon….

So, Skippy or JIFF? Chunky or smooth?

## Saturday, November 21, 2009

### A Howling Good Time

Thursday night, I went with some friends to a double feature: Twilight and the New Moon premiere! I can’t remember the last time I went to a premier. I don’t really care for seeing movies in the theaters, except I wanted to see G.I. Joe, but these friends do. Waiting in lines, sticky floors, questionable seats, overpriced food and admission, etc.

Lots of people only for seeing NM, wearing their Twilight/NM shirts. People brought their blankets and camp chairs for hanging out till midnight for the premier.

We got there earlier than we needed to but it was alright. No blankets, no camp chairs for our group. I thought it ended up being a good idea for watching both movies. I had somewhat forgotten what happened in the first movie. Then after, we got to stay in the same theater, same seats to watch NM. NO MORE WAITING IN LINE!

Oh, and the Twilight film burned through! That was cool! We did get to finish watching it though, which was good.

I can’t really stand Bella. After this, I wanna read the books but probably won’t. The movies are good but I won't give recommendations; you either wanna watch it or not. I like Alice’s wardrobe. I wore my sweater top with the white sleeves that looks kinda vintage, a headband, curled my hair, in the spirit of what Alice might wear.

No spoilers :)

Mahalo.

[I mostly wrote this just to show the photos!]

## Thursday, November 12, 2009

### More Than a Bus Driver

I haven’t been riding the bus so much lately and kind of miss it.

I took the bus last Thursday, the 5th. I caught the A (Bus #84) from LCC around 12:40 pm towards UH. At one of the stops, the driver immediately got out of his seat to help an elderly man with a cane on to the bus. The elderly man has probably had a stroke because his left hand was stuck in a soft fist. His movements were shaky and very small.

I mention all this because of the way the driver responded. It has been a while since I’ve seen a driver be so gentle, patient and kind to one who needed care. I wish I could better describe what I saw. Something in the driver’s demeanor made me think that this was more than a job for him to drive people around on a bus.

I’ve seen wheelchair passengers get on and drivers get up to lock the chair in and such. This was different.

When we got to the elderly man’s stop, the driver got up quickly to gently help the man rise to his feet. The driver made sure the man was okay.

So driver of Bus #84 Route A, GOOD WORK!

Whatever job I have in the future, temporary or career-wise, I hope to display a servant-spirit like the driver did. I don't even know if the driver's a Christian, but it's how a Christian should respond to people. I hope to minister to people, not work a job. I hope to be God’s representative in the workplace. May this entry be a reminder.

Mahalo.

## Tuesday, November 10, 2009

### Intimidation

From the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary:

Main Entry: in•tim•i•date
Pronunciation: \in-ˈti-mə-ˌdāt\
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): in•tim•i•dat•ed; in•tim•i•dat•ing
: to make timid or fearful : FRIGHTEN; especially : to compel or deter by or as if by threats
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So a friend thinks that someone is intimidated by me. I don’t know where to go with that, what to do with that. This isn’t the first time that someone’s told me that I’m intimidating.

I don’t know how I’m intimidating so I don’t know how to…ease up on that? And I don’t think I’m easily intimidated so I can’t say how I would want to be approached. It’s not my intent to intimidate people.

The person that might be intimidated by me, I don’t have much in common with the person. I don’t know what to do to relate to them, to open the door for a conversation between us. It frustrates me when I don’t know how to relate or when I try and it doesn’t work. I want to be able to talk with them in an easier manner.

Any ideas on how I am intimidating? How can I be less intimidating?

Are you intimidated by anything or anyone?

## Monday, November 9, 2009

### Opening Lines

I was at the beach park with a few friends the other day. We were walking down the pathway to the sandy area when a guy came from behind me and tapped my shoulder saying, “What’s your name?”

Whoa, scary moment! This did not help my paranoia complex.

Well, it was this guy from church from back in the days. I recognized him right away [insert sigh of relief here]. We talked a little. He’s at the church down the street now.

He was…on the edge of being creepy when I knew him before but he’s just one in a history of socially awkward guys I knew. I know what it is to be socially awkward; I have been known to ignore my mind filter and blurt out strange things that make others uncomfortable. I hope I’m better at minding the filter than I used to be…I HOPE.
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Um, yeah. Later that night, we went to visit Joker at work and to have dinner. His co-worker whom had been our server a couple times started to attend to us when I just pointed at Joker and said, “We want him!” Hmmm. I hope the co-worker figured out we were friends and not some crazy lady that was rejecting the co-worker's help [insert Jenn shaking head at self here].

Anyways, I don’t know why I walk around thinking that I will never be stopped by people I used to know, that I’m never gonna run into people I know. I walk around thinking I’m like a ghost, no one will bother me ‘cuz they don’t see me. I should start thinking that it’s a good sign that people will come up to me to say hi. I must have done something right at some point of time.

## Saturday, November 7, 2009

### Untitled [11.07.09]

The door has been unlocked. I'm tempted to look but also to run out the back door. I think I'm gonna sit still for awhile.

## Thursday, November 5, 2009

### Untitled [11.05.09]

I am still frustrated. I am back to being angry also.

This is all I know to say at the moment.

## Wednesday, November 4, 2009

### Do You See What I See?

I tend to be in the background partly because I like to observe. I don’t enjoy talking a lot because I generally feel like I have no idea what I’m talking about so be quiet, Jenn! Or if I’m talking a lot, it can mean that I’m trying to say something or trying to hide something.

So I like observing. This has saved me more trouble than I can tell. I look at the mistakes that people make so that I work that out in myself, learn from the mistakes of others. I see how people treat each other; I learn from both the beautiful and the ugly moments. I search for cues from people to know more about them than they realize that I know.
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I wonder about God’s omniscience and omnipresence. He knows and sees all. Reflecting on this has also saved me from a lot of sins I would have committed; not always, but at times. That’s not what I want to talk about here.

Lately I’ve been observing some ugliness in fellow Christians and it frustrates me, it saddens me. Why is it so easy for us to tear each other down? Why is it so easy for us to see the ugly in the other person and so easy to build up our own ego? On the judgment day, when I am called to give an account, what answer can I give regarding this kind of ugliness, the ugliness towards other Christians?

It still bothers me that Christians can be so loving and giving to strangers and acquaintances, but be so ugly to fellow Christians. That’s part of the… hypocrisy that non-believers detect. If I was on the outside and my curiosity brought me around a certain group of Christians, I would see how they do not love each other and turn and walk away. I have witnessed a non-believer being more loving than a believer. I’m working on being more loving than the non-believer.

I can be guilty of this ugliness. I’m letting God work it out in me. He wants me to advance His kingdom; that includes not tearing down what kingdom has already been established. If I have a part in winning a soul to Jesus, but I also have a part in closing myself off from a fellow Christian, have I advanced the kingdom? I know it’s not a direct one-to-one correlation, but it is a troublesome thought, isn’t it?

If I continue piling up grievances with fellow Christians, the kingdom will suffer. If I cut myself off from this person and that opportunity, I am telling God that I am not on His side. It is the opposite of Samuel and Isaiah and others when they heard the voice of God and said, “Here I am!” [I Sam. 3:4, 8, 10; Is. 6:8].

God is saying to me, “My kingdom is ONE kingdom. The church body is to be ONE body. Do not divide what is mine.”
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This is on my mind. Mahalo.

## Sunday, November 1, 2009

### Untitled [11.01.09]

Today, I partook of the communion table. There are no adequate words to say how I am in awe of God.

I have sinned. God loves me still; He is here to receive me when I come to Him. Every time. I don’t understand it.

I am weak. I am intentional. I have evil desires.

I confess to Him, and though I cannot express how much I grieve my wrongs against Him, I am so grateful that He knows my heart.

I am afraid. I have been afraid for too many years. I had made tremendous progress in the last few years only by God’s power and love. I stumbled. I was falling and I plunged right in.

And God hasn’t abandoned me. Others have, and others will. I have hurt them. They have hurt me. And God forgives.
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For about a year now, I have been trying something out. I open my intimate time with God with the Lord’s Prayer. It has helped remind me of all the things God has given me to do through prayer in order to come to Him. Give thanks for who He is, be mindful of His purity, seek His will and not my own, He desires to have me with Him, but I am a sinner, and a sinner of whom He delights in redeeming.

It sounds like such a simple prayer. I am beginning to see so much in it, with God’s help, with the help of others He has sent for me.
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Please excuse me for not making more specific confessions here. I grieve that I have harmed God’s plan. I have made a mess of much. I will rest my hope in His power and will to use this ugliness of mine towards His glory.