Monday, October 19, 2009

What’s All the Excitement About?

I’m sorry about the last few entries. I don’t want to be such a fault-finder, such a negative energy. So today, something different.

This is an exciting time. Getting involved in God’s work is exciting! As I continue to observe and listen to some in this group, I am so encouraged and excited, because I’m finding out that people I was concerned with WANT spiritual growth!

They’re telling me what they want, how they feel and think about it. I’m learning how to ask the right questions to draw them out more. I’m seeing the little steps they’re making that will lead them to bigger steps in drawing closer to God. This is exciting! This is what I DREAMED for this group! And I get to be a part of encouraging them and supporting them which is feeding MY spiritual growth!

Five wants spiritual growth. He’s beginning to really trust telling me things about how his spiritual life is going. He’s told me one way I could help him get there and I was glad to do that for him. I look forward to finding out more ways that I can help. And it helps that Bubbles gives me a little more information.

Bubbles wants spiritual growth. I can see her paying attention during BS, really searching for the lesson within the lesson. We’re having conversations about spiritual things. Bubbles wants to reach out to people and I can’t wait to do that with her! And she’s looking for ways to encourage me, so it’s mutual.

Pendulum wants spiritual growth. I see him engaged in the BS lessons. Conversations with him here and there let me find out how he’s doing, what he wants. Right now I’m thinking of how I can help him. I don’t know what it is yet, but I’ll be on the lookout.

Fist wants spiritual growth. She intimidates some in the group because she knows so much, but she wants to learn more about applying things to her own life. We all have things to work on, to improve on; the Fist is no different. Last week at BS, Fist came up with an application from the lesson on her own! And I affirmed that for her.

Ginger wants spiritual growth. She misses sensing God’s presence. She told me what she wanted, a small group with the girls where we can really get deeper and pray for real things for each other. We were having an online chat and I wanted to keep talking to her; I mentioned praying and without hesitation, she said she was going to go pray and she left me! At small group, I asked if anyone wanted to close us in prayer and she volunteered right away!

These are the kinds of things I want to be around. This is the work that I want to do! I don’t care that some people think I’m a thinker; I’m also a doer. Give me something to do and I’ll get on it. Tell me that you want spiritual growth and I’ll get behind you in any way I can.

When I heard “if you’re ready to go with [the ministry],” I went with it. God told me not to wait any longer, that I was to do this. So I went for it knowing it was going to be a rough ride, knowing that I might lose some. But it’s all to God.

When I heard women’s small group, I went ahead with it. Right away I started talking to the others that Ginger wanted to meet with and found out their interest level. I didn’t wait for everyone’s schedules to come in; we got started because God told me not to delay. And I kept in contact with the others so that we could bring them along the way.

When Five wanted something, a thing that seems simple but complex and he wasn’t comfortable voicing it himself, I was glad to voice it for him. When he found out I was working on it and moving on it, the smile on his face was all I needed.

Why do I do this? Because I love God, want to be obedient to God no matter what this costs, and because I care. This is the kind of leader I wanted to be. Whether I do it upfront or behind the scenes doesn’t matter to me. Just let me do it.

That’s a moot point right now as someone is starting to come forward in taking the lead. I’m glad for it. I’m only disappointed in that some in the group for whom I also want to get to know more and do more, they’re not going to get how much I care. They’re going to miss it. They’re not going to get why I did this. They’re going to stay within their comfort zone a little more, though not for long if I’m right about the new leader. But they won’t have to deal with me. That's my failing.

And I get to focus on the ones who want me involved. It’s not me doing it but God through me. I’m still amazed that He’s able to use me. Two years ago, I would have never thought I would be doing what I’m doing, and THAT is exciting!

Mahalo for reading.