Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Made Me Flinch

This is where I am. Intentions are difficult to discern whether good or bad; most of it seems the same to me. In relationships, I’m flinching. I’m so uncertain about so many things.

In What’s all the Excitement About?, I forgot to mention Talent, who has amazing enthusiasm which refreshes me. Also, more praise of Bubbles, who had the right heart and mind regarding where we meet for Bible study and why; she brought the right perspective and showed that she’s being intentional about her spiritual growth. That’s what I want to see!

I want to give credit where credit’s due.

Today, I listened again to some Focus episodes. I was reminded about being unforgiving and the damage it does. I think if one can’t forgive, one can’t give. It says in the Lord’s Prayer, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” [Matthew 6:12, NIV]. My prayers have been strained and so I prayed for forgiveness. I prayed for those who’ve hurt me, whether they realize their offense or not.

I wonder how many times I’ve passed off helping a hurting friend. A lot of times, people hide their pain, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’ve assumed that someone else is doing something about it. I tell myself that someone else has it under control. I haven’t known what to do or say. Sometimes it’s best to say nothing, so I tell myself. I could have at least let them know that to see their hurt pains me as well. I could have said… I don’t know. I could have not said and given a hug instead.

Going back to giving credit, I needed a timeout on Sunday. I went to a rather quiet place but still I was found- God is good. Sir’s father found me and did exactly what I would expect a good caring Christian should do when finding a broken heart. He approached me to ask if I’m okay. He sought out a female to sit with me so that I wouldn’t be alone.

Father Sir’s actions are refreshing and inspiring. That’s what I want to see happening! It’s all too easy for us to go care for people we don’t really know. We go out to reach strangers or acquaintances. We get to look like the hero.

Why are we reluctant to be the hero for our family and friends?

If we cared enough for each other as much as we cared for those out there, maybe we’d be more effective when we go out there. I know it seems backwards, but I keep getting the message that it’s the personal relationship with God first, next we take a look around and build up those around us, and then we can make a difference in the lives of the lost in a way that is lasting!

It’s like the illustration that Sir pointed out in a previous conversation. The safety instructions on the airplane are to put the oxygen mask over your face first, then put a mask over someone who needs help.

I'm also reminded of a saying, I don't know who the originator was but it was quoted in the movie 28 Days. It goes something like, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result." Apply it to spiritual growth.

Anyways, yup. Don’t know what else to say. We’ll see what happens.

Oh, and the Focus episodes were really good ones: Being Salt and Light, aired on Aug. 23; Overcoming Sexual Sin in Marriage, Oct. 15; My Journey to Salvation 1 & 2, June 26-27.