Monday, June 29, 2009

Confidence

My emotions can be all over the place in a few moments, so I try to be aware of when I am allowing them to control me and to change the situation so that they are not in charge. It has been difficult to do that lately and so I haven’t been writing much for public viewing.

What’s been on my mind the past month or so are the joys and sorrows of my friends. In all things I pray over them and entrust them to God.

I’d like to share in the joys that my friends are experiencing. The only thing I can say is that my spirit is heavy and sad. Why is it that should seem like it would ruin my friends’ joy or lessen their enjoying their joy? I wrote my friend a letter, pouring my heart out; it is still in my possession. I cannot deliver it.

Another friend is experiencing great distress at this time. I have no sense of what might comfort. I can say that I have experienced the same, but I don’t know if that would help. It was by chance that I knew anything was going on at all. Someone who has been a prayer warrior for me and I am for him. For the time being, we are both messes. I am afraid, but I want to be strong. I didn’t want to add to his concerns.

So I have been silenced. One confidante experiencing joy I would not want to decrease. Another going through pain I would not add to. One off on their own, doing their own thing. Yet another had been in another country, doing the work of the Lord. I am on the verge of tears at any given moment. I suppose I only write anything now because the one in another country returned recently and for that I am ever grateful to God.

Being silenced drives me crazy but I know I have the perfect confidante in God who is always here to listen to my cry. He wants to carry my burdens with me and I am glad that he does. I think that of what I’ve learned the past year and a half, of learning to PRAY CONSTANTLY, I’ve learned that praying to God is an act of my trust in him. My prayers are an admission of humility as I cannot do anything but he can do all things; the trust is in saying that I know HE WILL do all things in his will. I believe my good is in his will, not my desires, but my good.

Yet, God has made us to be social beings, as he enjoys fellowship with his Son and the Holy Spirit. I need your prayers constantly. The details are not important, do not feel overly concerned for me. Please pray for me.

I constantly remember you in my prayers also.

Mahalo for reading. Let us pray...