Tuesday, July 22, 2008

He’s A Good Guy

Something’s been bugging me lately because it’s something that’s happened to me many times over the years. Actually a few things have been bugging me lately, but I’ll start with this one. Here’s the “conversation”:

Q: *real out of the blue* So, what about [Guy]?
Me: What about [Guy]?
Q: *eager stare* What about [Guy]?
Me: *not pleased at all* What about [Guy]?
Q: He’s a good guy.
Me: I know he’s a good guy. What about him?

I don’t care if the Questioner reads this; then he/she’ll know how irritating and childish I find this kind of questioning.

What’s more is that the Q moved over to talk to others nearby. I guess someone asked Q why Q was asking me about Guy because next, I overheard Q say something like he/she was tired of seeing such good guys being single.

And what am I supposed to do about that? Marry the next good single guy I see? Would that help the situation? Would that make Q feel better?
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When I hear that statement, “He’s a good guy,” in the way that I’ve been getting it lately, what I’m hearing is, “You’re an idiot! You’d be lucky to have him! Why aren’t you with him?!” That’s what was implied in this most recent incident. That statement questions my intelligence and judgment and I resent that. It’s like they’re saying that I don’t see what a good guy this particular man is. I SEE IT. I see him.

That HURT.
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Two reasons why Guy and I are not dating, that really are not anyone’s business but I’ll state them here anyway. Two reasons why this whole thing really bugs me. First is that he hasn’t asked me out. I don’t know that he has any interest in me at all as more than a friend and I’m not going to assume so unless he makes a move himself. Therefore telling me that he's a nice guy assumes too much.

Second, and more importantly, is that I’m at a point in my life where my main focus is on strengthening my relationship with God. That’s first and foremost. I’ve only been back to church, hanging out with friends, participating in activities, for a few months and already people are seeing who they can pair me up with.

I know I’m nearing “old maid” stage, but I don’t care. I would love to be married someday and have a family of my own; I’m preparing myself to be a good wife and mother should I be blessed to be such. Actually, I’m just trying to become a good Godly woman.

Other than that, I’m not actively looking for a husband. Guy and I have been getting to know each other better. From my end, it’s been in order to be better friends, not for any romantic intentions for now. I don’t go around getting to know guys simply because I want to see who I can snag. I’m not in a rush. I’ve never been in a rush. I like making friends.

Should nothing romantic happen between us, it in no way implies that there’s something wrong with Guy. It in no way demeans him. And it doesn’t make me the bad person.

Since I’m back in church and helping the youth activities, I’m SURROUNDED by good men, good Christian single men. So no, Guy is not the only guy I’m getting to know better. All I’m doing right now regarding romance is to leave myself open for whomever God puts in my path. I’m trusting on God’s plan for me, whether it’s to be married or to be single. I know I am going to be great with whichever He’s already chosen for me.

If God tells me that I’m for Guy and Guy is for me, I will follow His direction.
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Because I was getting bugged out, I talked about this more in depth with two people I wholeheartedly trust. They understand what I’m doing, how I’m viewing the situation. I have their support and that means a good deal to me.

So everyone, just chill. God is at work. One may ask me things out of genuine concern or interest. General questions about my relationship status and such are always okay. DO NOT ask me junk just to be nosy as Q was. I rarely say whether or not I’m seriously interested in a particular person and I’m not gonna start now. My private life is my private life.

I’m not saying all this to make any interested guys back away from me, if indeed there are any. I wanted others to know, if one has any speculations about whom I should be with, I’d rather not hear it. I will make up my own mind.

I could say more but I’m gonna stop here for now. Now that I’ve said my peace about this particular incident, I feel a little better; crankiness over… for the moment.

Mahalo.