Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Avoidance Exception

This is gonna sound cranky ‘cuz I’m just in a cranky mood today; I know, some of you are shocked that I could be cranky. Um, did that sound sarcastic enough?

Anyways, I think I mentioned somewhere that I’m not an avoider. I acknowledge people who acknowledge me. I don’t like false niceties really but in the end I don’t really care. I knew a lot of people who were nice to my face and talked trash about me behind my back, I’ve got friends that’ll confirm this. It’s annoying for a moment and a moment I can endure.

So on my end, it doesn’t bother me to ‘kill ‘em with kindness’ as they say. I mean, as a Christian, I’m called to love my neighbor as myself. If it is true that the other person doesn’t like me, then I’m entertaining them a little. You know, they probably think I’m an idiot for buying their bull [not actually buying it]. And actually, there are not many people for whom God needs to work in my heart to love; I can think of one person at the moment, in all my life, whom I would want to avoid.

If someone recognizes me and wants to avoid me, I’m okay with that also. What does it matter?

Ah, but ya’ gotta love the exceptions to the rule.
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The other day, Mom and I went to Petland. While Mom was looking at something for her dog, I walked down an aisle and passed this guy walking towards me. Petland employees wear a navy shirt that says ‘Petland’ in red embroidery. It looked like this guy worked there; he was wearing a button-front navy shirt that was open so I didn’t notice if it said ‘Petland’ or not. I gave a very small acknowledging smile; I just lifted one corner of my tight-lipped mouth.

Then Mom was looking at more stuff and I was growing tired and hungry. We were at the end of an aisle. Out of my peripheral vision, I see that guy walking down the aisle towards us kinda quick and then he turned down the main aisle behind us. I glanced up just as he walked behind us again, he stopped shortly to cool himself at the fan that was near us. He kinda grinned at me.

Now, I had thought the first time that he kinda looked like someone I knew but I do that all the time. I think someone looks familiar only to realize how I know the person I’m thinking of and that person is in CA or something and was actually taller than the person I’m looking at, you know? And people recognize me more readily than I recognize them. I’m one of those that in general, I need to listen to them a few seconds to realize who they are, usually when it’s been years since I’ve seen them.

I’m gonna call this guy ‘Rover’ ‘cuz I was in Petland and he was roving… around me, he was hovering more like it. Well, I thought he kinda looked like this guy I grad h.s. with but not quite, not enough for me to say, ‘Hey G, how have you been?’ By then, it’s nearing my lunch time and I’m getting cranky and getting more annoyed by Rover. He’s still walking around us.

And you remember that h.s. thing that your friend would do when your crush walks by? In h.s, my crush was in the same section [band] and we’d go eat dinner together, the whole section. My very good and best friend Nell would always work so hard to get my crush to sit next to me at every dinner. Something like that normally annoys me to pieces but I love Nell so she can pretty much do anything, it’s not easy to be mad or annoyed at Nell.

Well, that’s what another employee started to do sort of. Rover must’ve told his friend, hey I know that girl. Mom was taking a long time deciding. Friend came to help a female employee stock a nearby shelf or something. When Rover passed by, Friend was saying, ‘hey G, G, come here,’ confirming who I thought Rover might be. Rover never came over to Friend but hovered around Mom and I several times. I guess he wanted me to say something first and he was hovering to give me the opening, I don’t know.

In the end, I got out of that store without saying anything. I just don’t play games like that, they annoy me. I’m pretty sure now that Rover had recognized me from the start and if he had stopped me and said something, I would’ve been like, ‘Hey G, how are you?’ But he didn’t. He chose to be a coward and hover. That’s pretty much how he was in h.s. too.

What’s more is that we were friends in h.s, if you can call it that. I mostly tolerated him, let him hang around us. I’m not saying that I was cool or anything ‘cuz I totally believe I’m a dork but I have a tough time hanging out with people who act stupid on a constant basis, especially if they know it. Silly people are great, I love silliness, but it just confounds me when people work against their intelligence, you know what I mean? I tolerated a lot of people in h.s. ‘cuz basically, we were all stuck with each other, and my h.s. was notorious for stupid smart people. In h.s. Rover behaved immaturely and it’s sad that he’s still behaving immaturely after so many years.

So, I didn’t actively dodge Rover but I would’ve walked out if Mom hadn’t been with me.

Just now I’m thinking of how several friends in different circles tend to say the same things about me. One of the things is that I’m intimidating. It’s kind of… I mean, I don’t think that I’m intimidating. Who’s gonna be afraid of me? Well, maybe this incident with Rover illustrates a way that people might see me as intimidating. Yeah, I’m not very patient with certain things. *sigh* I think God might be teaching me to be more gracious to people--- pray for me! I guess if I had said something to Rover that would’ve been closer to loving my ‘neighbor.’
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They Don’t Want My Two Cents?!!

I’m including this ‘cuz it was the same day as Rover. I went to pay for my things at Petland that day. The total was like $10.02 and I had NO pennies. Is it weird to feel a sense of guilt for making a worker count out $0.98 in change? I called for Mom who usually has a bunch of coins…but not on that day. The cashier, who was very tall and kinda cute by the way, said no problem, he’s got pennies. God bless the cashier, I love it when cashiers do that, but I still try to pay for everything.

That wouldn’t be weird, only Mom and Cranky Me stopped for lunch. The bank was near so Mom told me what she wanted. Mom went to do some banking while I picked up the lunch. I get to the counter, gave the good lady our order, and it was rung up. Um…the total came up and again, I WAS SHORT TWO CENTS! I paid the whole thing and she didn’t offer the pennies which is totally fine. I just had to laugh and think, how is it possible to be short two cents in one day in consecutive stores? Was God telling me something there too?

Mom and I ran a few more errands at other places, but I don’t think I was short two cents. Makes me think of ‘Two dollars! I want my two dollars!!!’ You know what movie that’s from right? Did I just date myself? I don’t care, I’m old.

Mahalo, and does anyone have pennies that they don’t want? Send ‘um to me, I might need ‘um someday!